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Life is a little weird

Funny quotes Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves Aylake
Funny quotes Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves Aylake

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” – Robert Fulghum

“Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Funny quotes Always remember the last words of my grandfather Aylake
Funny quotes Always remember the last words of my grandfather Aylake

“Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: ‘A truck!’” – Emo Philips

“You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.” – Emo Philips

“I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, ‘Get off me, you two!’” – Emo Philips

“England is better only because I stand out there as ‘unusual’.” – Emo Philips

“In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.” – Emo Philips

Funny quotes There is a thin line that searates laughter and pain Aylake
Funny quotes There is a thin line that searates laughter and pain Aylake

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” – Erma Bombeck

“Never have more children than you have car windows.” – Erma Bombeck

“When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” ― Erma Bombeck

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” ― Erma Bombeck

“I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.” ― Erma Bombeck

Funny quotes If you try to fail and succeed which have you done Aylake
Funny quotes If you try to fail and succeed which have you done Aylake

“Housework can kill you if done right.” ― Erma Bombeck

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” – George Carlin

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

Funny quotes Behind every successful man is a woman behind her is his wife Aylake
Funny quotes Behind every successful man is a woman behind her is his wife Aylake

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” – George Carlin

“To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.” – George W. Bush

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Gertrude Stein

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” – Groucho Marx

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx

Funny quotes Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet Aylake
Funny quotes Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet Aylake

“Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!” – Groucho Marx

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

“If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.”

““Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.” – Aparna Nancherla 

“In this horrible time, let us at least be bolstered by small miracles like finding out your ex moved to a different city.” – Aparna Nancherla

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